we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
