and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize