Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
