I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
