I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
