She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
