haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
