Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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