In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
