what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Four minutes until I can fart!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
