i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
