At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
