it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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