Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize