woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
don't judge my taste in strippers
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
