He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
