There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
