Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
