WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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