Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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