Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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