the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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