big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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