Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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