a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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