I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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