Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
