It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
