Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize