you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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