my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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