But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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