He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
