If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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