I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize