Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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