is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
