She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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