i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
