It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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