I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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