Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
