I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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