Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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