me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
