Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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