There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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