Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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