she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
