You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
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My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize