He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
