mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
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She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
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We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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