I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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