i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
