she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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