if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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