if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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