didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
