i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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