matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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