It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
