Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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